It's no secret that I have a bit more life experience then others at my age. I have always joked about being the rough draft, I have found myself saying that these are the lessons I would want my sister, my brothers, my daughter or anyone to learn from my error.
1. Don't be an ass. No really, one of the oldest lessons I have learned that I still find myself forgetting. Don't be an ass. It always ends up with trouble, trouble that can haunt you years down the road. Trouble that can hurt you years down the road. So use your damn head!
2. Make your life long friends early in life. This almost goes hand in hand with don't be an ass, but really, find your best friends, and keep them. They are needed. I moved a lot when I was a kid, and then acted like an ass, and had trouble making friends for years. Not until I was a grown up did I find my really friends. And frankly that is not on pathetic, it's lonely.
3. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT, rely on anyone! Always assume that anyone in you're life can or will be gone the next day. And I mean this in so many different ways. I mean it in the sense that tragedy will hit you eventually in life, and the people you love could be gone. I also mean it in the sense that too many times the people I thought were supposed to be apart of my life forever, weren't. And no matter which way a person leaves, you, if you believe in them enough to believe that they will always be there, well let's just say I have serious abandonment issues.
4. Never let anyone steal your sunshine. Again with the hand in hand with the previous, but it's very important.
It took me along time to figure this one out. Do not let other people influence your life enough that they have the ability to break you down.
Weather it be the people that leave in life, or an old asshole at who lives in a bar, whose greatest joy in life is making you miserable.
Find your happiness on your own, that way you are the only person who can change it.
5. Don't have sex. DONT HAVE SEX. Do NOT have sex.its not even fun,
You will get aids. And die.
Okay maybe not as drastic but you will get to a point in life where you regret it. And that's not even saying me or anyone sleeps around.
You could sleep with 6 people or 600 people. And only regret 2. Regardless, there is still regret. So the next time you consider it, assume that you will have to spend the rest if your life with that person.. Still want to do it? And there is the whole baby thing.. And having strangers look at you funny because you have a baby, or tell you what a scumbag you are for being not being married. I'm not saying those people are right, but don't forget people are cruel. And a child is something you should never have to feel bad about. No matter hoe much you love them.
6. Which leads me to this. Kelsey is by far the only right thing I probably have done in life, but my god do it right. I know too many people, myself included that went about life the wrong way, and now there are more children in "broken homes" then not. And that's a sad thing.
Finish school. Become financially stable independently. Fall in love. Get married. Travel. Be married. Then think about having a baby.
Because too many people rush into that baby part with out even really knowing the person they are now forever tied to. I did that. And I accept that. Do not do that. While is admit I was very lucky, things didn't work for us, but her dad is my friend. I love him very much. But that is not common at all.
7. When you are ready to date. Remember these things... Keep yourself and your standards high,
They should have a reliable car, if they are in school they better take it serious, and work part time at least. If they are not in school, then a GOOD job, maybe they don't have a career, but good enough that they can pay their own way in life. No drugs.nokids. And no jail time.
With that said, keep in mind that life happens and you will screw up so maybe they did too, so understand one or two bags of carry on but check those bags through security first!
People forget what dating is meant for, finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So you shouldn't even be dating unless you are ready to find that person! And with that said when you do date be with someone who is crazy about you. Someone who is there for you when you need them, someone you can trust, someone who does not let you down. Someone your family loves, and you need to be those things for them! Dating is about marriage and marriage is about making the person you love happy because they should be doing the sane for you.
Basically figure out the person you look up to most in life, with a pedestal higher then anyone else, if you find a person who can come close to that person.. The are probably who you should be with.
8. Do good. Be kind. Smile at a stranger because you have no idea how badly they might need it. Do not be quick to judge. And don't forget people change, not only was the devil once an angel, but I used to be a mess. People change for better or worse.
9. Forgive everyone. If not for any other reason but your own peace of mind. It doesn't matter what they did.. Make peace with it. Because back to earlier.. They might be gone. Or just because holding on to anger like that does you no good. I am not saying that those people need to continue to be apart of your life, but make peace with everything you can.
10. What happens between person A and person B is between them. I you are A or B, don't expect C to have the same issue with them. If you are C, think long and hard before you assume you don't like A because B doesn't.
There are three sides to that story, A's side, B's side, and the side that really happened. Don't hold another persons grudge. Because someday you might find out how very wrong they were.
11. Speaking of grudges. Don't hold them. Along with that whole it's not good for you. Just don't do it. Again I am not saying to keep people in your life who do you wrong again an again,
But believe in second chances. Maybe not thirds, but definitely seconds.
12. Family is important. Unfortunately your family will likely let you down more then others, but they may actually surprise you just the same. I have cousins that are there for me more then my own grandparents. I have an aunt who cared for me while I was sick because my mother couldn't. I grew up fist fighting my little brother, but would never let someone hurt him. I have a brother and sister who grew up on the other side of the country, whom I am still very close to. I have an uncle who I could call at 3 am, because I was afraid of a bad citation that went to far. Family is very important. I don't care if they are your third cousin twice removed.. Love them.
13. Own it. For a very long time, I did not like myself. I was ashamed of every nit picking detail of my life. I lacked confidence, and happiness. Until one day I had reached a point I thought I could not handle it any more, to Which my roommate said to me, we all have flaws, you're a good person, so take what you are and just own it. Own up to your mistakes and learn from them. Own your flaws and embrace them. You don't like something about yourself? Fix it.
14. Care what others think about you. I know right now we live in a world filled with "be you" "don't give a dam what anyone else thinks" and all that, no. Just no. I'm sorry but we also live in an over sensitive world filled with.. Crazy.
I do not even know who to describe what I am saying but I bet you know what I am thinking. My point is that, this whole "I was born this way" phase we are in has been taken a little too far. Is it okay to be gay, if that's what your into, overweight, I mean I guess but that's just not healthy, smoke a joint, illegal yes, but once in a blue moon, if that's what your into.
Sure.
But do not act like an ass and then say I don't care what you think about me, because you should. Some people are cruel, and find pleasure in bringing others down, those are the people you are not supposed to care about, but seriously, have class, have self respect, be respectful, care what the people around you think. And if you don't like what they think about you, make sure your not acting a way to let them think that.
15. Try new things. Seriously. Do not just stick to routine, because life is all about change. Embrace it, sometimes you'll hate it, but sometimes you'll find something you truly love. You're entire life should consist of discovering yourself, because once you've stopped, you might as well be dead.
16. Life is going to constantly throw you curve balls. Swing. Swing with everything you've got. If I have learned anything about myself it is that if I can do anything, it is survive. And so can you. So always prepare yourself for the crazy that is yet to come.
17. Say you're sorry! If you did something wrong, own up to it and apologize. Try and fix it. Taking responsibility for your wrong doings is just as important as forgiving others for theirs.
18. Find you're happy place. Have a spot to yourself that you can just exist. A place to go, to inhale, exhale, and move on. A place to let go of whatever stress you have, and to figure out a way to fix it. A place to be calm. A place to be free. Use this place, whenever you need it. Just do not let it consume you in becoming a way to not deal with life.
19. Be thankful. Everyday. Life sucks sometimes, but it can be worse, and it will get better, so if you ever find yourself in the in between, and believe me you will. Be grateful. Every night before you go to sleep, thank god, thank yourself, thank the stars, for at least three good things you have in life.
20. Figure out what you want to be when you grow up. And be realistic, and if you dream big, have a back up plan. Take school seriously. It is a privilege denied to many. Try. Try hard.
21. Stand up for yourself. Sometimes your going to get yourself handed to you.
Sometimes you'll lose. But stand for who and what you believe in, and do not let people walk all over you. Don't be an ass, but don't obey someone just because they are older then you. Or paid more. But really, I cannot stress enough how much I also mean that this does not mean be rebellious or dramatic just because it's within your legal right. There is a different between things being unfair and not getting your way. Learn it.
22. Do not get into debt. Seriously. Pay your bills. Do not rely on someone else to do that for you. If you can't afford it with get a better job or learn to live with out it. If it is school or cars or another kind of debt you need in life, do not let it consume your life. It's too hard to survive in debt.
23. Make time for the people you love. Life gets busy, but do not forget to make time for the people who would make time for you. Don't be the kind of person who let's work run their whole life, or that can't make time for friends while in a relationship. The people we spend our lives with are what it is all about, that's what we remember, that's what we crave when the relationships or jobs fall through.. Don't only want people around when you need them or when it is convenient for you. They deserve better then that.
24. Be better than yesterday. Be stronger, be smarter, be happier, be healthier, improve. Be never better.
25. Continue learning. Learn new things. Try new things. Learn from your mistakes. Strive to be a better person. Strive to make a
Good life for yourself. Help those who really need it. Do not stop learning until the day you day.
