It was fantastic.
Tonight I watch Jersey Boys, it was a good movie, and I promise that this actually does have a point. the movie was great, like really great. It was funny, had a good story, and a amazing closing scene.
But the guys daughter died. She just dies. He finally is a dad to her, and then she is gone.
So then I am laying in bed wide awake for whatever reason just playing things like these in my head on repeat when Mark Sloan makes his way into my head. One of his final scenes was one of grey's quotes.
"I want you to promise me something, If you love someone, you tell em. Even if you're scared it's not the right thing, even if you're scared it'll cause problems, Even if you're scare it'll burn your life to the ground, you say it. And you say it loud."
Truth be told I thinking everything is just finally really sinking into me. Since the fire it has been such and incredible eye opener. The story has been told a hundred times over by now but it stays the same. I would have never woken up.
And that is the part that is sticking right now.
I could have easily never woken up.
That thought does not seem to leave my mind lately. And not in the sense that you are probably thinking, not the oh em gee i almost died crap, but the realization of how easily the would have been the end. That is where my story could have stopped.
the last words I had spoken were it.
The last words I had written, done.
the last time I kissed my daughter goodnight.
or the last time I spoke to my best friend.
an unfinshed tattoo on my arm.
bills left to be paid.
the last beer I served to my favorite regular.
That the last time I saw my sister, so long ago, would have had been the last time I saw my sister.
There is an apartment I lived in, that at this point the most of my closet friends have lived in, and we had a neighbor that we all kind of loved. And he died today.
It has been months since I have seen him, and he is just gone.
and that is really crazy. It is just so amazing to me how simply we forget our days are numbered. What gift they truly are, because they are not promised.
how we take for granted the blessing it truly is to say i love you, to kiss goodnight. to call to say hello. hold hands. laugh. to play dress up and paint our toes. to snuggle up every night.
So i guess thats all i have really got right now.
is to always kiss goodnight.
to go to bed laughing, never mad.
and to say I love you, every single chance you get.
