$1.00 divided by quarters is four.

I do not know if its the upbeat music I am listening to (mumford && sons--I will wait). Or maybe the most dope people I have talked to so far today. Possibly my pure happy that came out last night while learning I do in fact suck at all sports when sober. It could be my excitement for the events of this weekend. Or just how much I am looking forward to those ahead.
But right now, I feel infinite. 

I recently watched the movie "Silver Linings Playbook" this movie has easily become one of my favorites, and I am not talking like tweenage girls obsessing over twilight..I am talking When Harry met sally kind of great. There is so much truth in that movie that I do not know, It opened up my eyes I guess.
Sometimes we experience terrible things in our lives. And they change us in a haunting way forever.
Sometimes we are just really sad people, and we do not know how to break that.

All you can really do with this is inhale. exhale. and move on.

Sometimes you're going to feel really lonely, or unaccomplished, and that gets really sad.

Make a list. Make it filled with the little things around the house you need to pick up, then the errands you need to run, the bills that you need to pay, the things that you want to do, to buy. fill it with the places that you want to go, near and far.
Write down the experiences that  you want to have. The demons within yourself that you want to change.
write down how you should really give that distant relative a call.
write down why you should forgive someone, even if right then, you do not think that they deserve it.

now do these things, check them off, lots of them, or just one and do it every day, and you will find the sense of accomplishment you have been looking for.

and lonely? the best thing I can is a contradiction.
You don't think people give a shit or you were there or not? fall off the grid then. Leave them be..but if you end up being right, get over it. you were right,
inhale. exhale. move on.
But at the same time, what I have also learned is that I cannot stand it when people go out of there way to let other people come to them, but then when people actually do in fact reach out to them..they blow them off.
that is when you need to grab some fucking windex, clean your mirror, and take a good long long at your problem. 

"I do all this shit for other people and then I wake up empty I have nothing" Tiffany-S.L.P.
so to tiffany's of this world...you are the ones that maybe need to figure you out who you have worth to, and in that time like I said, finding out the truth, it hurts, been when you exhale.. and move on.. you find new people to fill the old gaps,
it is amazing to me, how we think those people mean so much to us, because we'd probably do anything for them. but once we move on, how easily the gaps they left us can be filled with people who actually give a damn.

and to the the other people, well windex is on sale this week at walmart.
you're welcome.

Im leaving you with one last bit, before I go out to enjoy my life today.
but before I do, I want to say that someone thought this was a quote, its not, these are my words..and I a believe them.

Lessons I've learned...
Live your life.
Love your life.
Fuck you to anyone who forgets you.
Do for you.
Love those there for you.
Be honest, be upfront .
They'll tell you if they miss you .
Kiss don't love.
Leave before you're left.
Forget before you're forgotten.
And never, ever, be that girl the admits when you miss someone.